I Wish!

Wow. It’s a whole lot harder to blog daily when you go back to work. I was getting pretty used to waking up, getting a cup of coffee, sitting down in front of my computer, reading other people’s blogs, and writing posts for my own. What a slap in the face going back to work was! How dare work get in the way of my new hobby. I’ve felt such guilt for neglecting my “baby” this week. Schedules? They seem so overrated to me now.

My Dad also called the other day with almost-good-news; he had 5 out of 7 numbers on a lottery ticket. Amazingly, having all numbers except for two will get you…nada. Not even a free ticket. Oh well, it’s a sign that the big one’s on the way, and then, AND THEN? I can get up in the morning whenever my heart desires, plop down in front of the laptop, write an inspiring (?) piece for my blog, run my own business from the comfort of my home, do what I want, when I want. Yep. That is my dream. What’s yours?

~Carolyn

Wishing Upon a Star!

The Many Branches of an Old Family Tree

The Mighty Oak!

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with my parents when the subject of our family history came up.  My father said he didn’t want to sound morbid or anything, but that documenting our family’s history before there is no one left to tell it would be a good idea.  Since my parents are fascinated with my ability to pull up information at the drop of a hat via Google (I am a master Googler), I opened up my laptop and thought I would delight them with my skills, and started searching for information and/or records of our family on an ancestry website.

Well, sadly, my skills fell flat because I wasn’t a paying customer and would need to register. I cut that exercise short and instead, started playing 20 Questions.  You see the thing about my family is that in its current state, it’s quite small.  Obviously, there are many, many family members from the past, but sadly I never met most of them.  Something as simple as my grandparents’ full names was not common knowledge in my head, I needed information.  A few names, birth dates and birth places turned out to be a good start.

Later that day, I registered on the family tree website, started my tree and began digging around.  It didn’t take very long before I got a couple of hits.  To say I was excited is an understatement.  The first document I found was the baptism registry for my maternal grandmother; the second document was the 1911 Census for my paternal grandfather (he was 2 ½ months old!).  I was so surprised and happy that I called my parents to tell them what I’d found.  I have to say, I think I was more excited than they were, but then again, these were their parents; they knew them and grew up with them, whereas I never knew them.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have come up with all sorts of information and documents such as my great-great-grandparents’ names which doesn’t sound like much, but I had no idea what they were until a week ago.  I even got to see the passenger registry from when my great-great-grandfather came over to Canada from Finland by way of England.  It was very surreal.

I never met most of these people that I’m researching and searching out.  I can’t put faces to the names, and I don’t have many, or any, stories to go with them, yet.  These names that are popping up on my computer screen are names of my family, family I never got the chance to meet.  They are my history.  I know that I’ve only just begun this project, but I’m happy with my progress so far and I don’t intend to stop.

My next step will be to start getting that history, the stories, from my parents and anyone else who is willing to share their memories with me.  It seems like the older I get, the more I want to know where and how our family began.  It’s a lot of work sifting through all the hints and documents, but it’s definitely worth it.

If you’re interested in starting your own family tree, I have few hints and tips that I’ve picked up from my, so-far, short stint as an amateur detective.

1. First, write down all of the information that you already know such as your grandparents’ names, maiden names, dates of birth, etc.  It’ll give you an idea of what is missing and if you’re like me, you’ll see that a lot more information is still needed.
2. Next, start asking questions, and write down everything that you’re told.  It might not seem important, but trust me on this, you will probably need it.  You’ll find when you’re searching through documents, that it’s the small details you’ve been told that will help you to determine whether the information you’ve found is about your family member or not.
3. If you’re using a site dedicated to documenting your family history, put ALL the information that you have in the search engine because that’s how you get hints from them.  That’s not to say that all the hints or hits you get will be relevant.  In fact, 90 percent of the ones that I’ve received so far are duds, but following this tip helps to narrow the results from hundreds of results to maybe a page of results.
4. Be patient.  Most of what you’re going to find, like I said in number 3, will not be relevant to your family.  Keep looking.  Patience will also be required when you do get hits on documents.  You see, by law most documents cannot be made public for a certain amount of time.  For instance, Censuses can’t be made public for 100 years.  Well, 100 years ago most everything was handwritten, and I’m telling you, it’s not easy to read!  Take your time, read and re-read the documents, and chances are, you’ll see what you’re hoping to see.
5. My last tip is to go outside of the site to look for information.  I did just that and found out tons of details that were missing for a lot of the people on my tree so far, specifically dates of birth and dates of death.  After Googling a number of different things, namely obituaries, I came up with a great site listing all of the registered deaths of Finlanders in my hometown.  Bear in mind, I found this site on something like the fourth or fifth page – remember, Google always comes up with more than one page on a search!  So dig, dig, dig.

More than anything have fun with it, enjoy the process.  This isn’t going to be done in a day or a week or a month, this is going to take time.

What started out as a quick search has turned into a bit of a project for me, and I’m happy to do it.  I’m finding out about my family, my history, the story of how our family came to be our family.

~Trisha~

A Summer Weekend

Aaaah, summer!

What is it about a summer weekend and the way they seem to go so quickly?  It seems like I just left work and already it’s Monday morning, and I’m here getting ready for work again.

It was a wonderful weekend and I’m sad that it’s over, but I have great memories to take with me.  I know that technically, weekends don’t go any faster than any other day of the week, it just seems like they do.  We are all out and about and doing things we enjoy as opposed to when we’re at work, doing the same old, same old (or at least that’s how it is for me!), and the days move so much more slowly.  In the winter, unless you’re a snow bunny, more people stay indoors and closer to home, and the weekends don’t rush by like a warm activity-filled summer one.  In the summer, it’s all about barbecues, dinners, lazing around on balconies and patios enjoying good food and friends and the weather.  What is there not to like about a summer weekend?  That’s probably why I hate to see them end, and why I’m always just a little bit lonely when they’re over.

Oh, I’m not complaining – I’m thankful that I’m able to do the things I can do and am blessed with the friends and family that I have and who want me around.  All of that makes a weekend in the summer something to look forward to.  I just wish they lasted a little bit longer…

~Trisha~

A Bridge of Inspiration

On December 30, 2011, while surfing the web, I came across a news article about a 16 year old boy, Jack Jablonski (a quick Google search will provide you with pages of stories on Jack), who was checked from behind while participating in a sport he loves, hockey.  The result of that check was devastating, paralysis. Jack was told he would never walk again, let alone skate, nor would he regain the use of his arms or hands. While reading about Jack that day, I imagined what it would feel like to hear such life changing news, how it would feel to be a parent and learn that your child, a child who was just beginning to blossom, was stopped cold in his tracks. Obviously, there are two ways to go with such devastating news, up or down. Jack and his family chose up.

I joined the Jack Jablonski Caring Bridge shortly after reading the story, and have been updated on his progress by his family (Mom does most of the updating) ever since. At times, I have cried out of sadness reading the journal entries. Other times, I have laughed. Mostly though, I have smiled from ear to ear reading of Jack’s progress, and yes, even with such a dire diagnosis, he has made progress, lots of it! His latest milestone? Rolling over. Other milestones have included moving his fingers, gaining some function in his arms (he can high five his friends!), and moving his left leg and ankle! Pretty freaking amazing. Some might say that some major miracles have been going on here, but not without the sheer determination and hard work of Jack himself.

The reason I am writing this post is to share with you someone who inspires me on a daily basis. A young man and his family who I have never met, but have managed to find a place in my heart. We all face what we think are massive obstacles in our daily lives, but in the grand scheme of things, they’re often not nearly as massive as we think they are. When I think of what Jack has gone through, and how he has remained so positive, so strong, so upbeat, so determined, I’m in complete awe. When I read of his progress, I cry tears of joy…for someone I have never met, but for someone who has touched my life.

Jack and his family have touched my life in a positive way since last December, and I’m attempting to share this wealth with others. They are a prime example that even when one might feel there is no way up, there always is. Jack’s leading the way (with a little help from his family, his friends, his hockey community, strangers), and he’s an inspiring person to follow…especially if, at this time in your life, you need a little support to help you along the way. Journal updates from Jack’s Caring Bridge  are sent directly to your inbox (generally, once every few weeks; just enter your email address, no fee to join), and if you like a dose of uplifting, powerful, inspiring news, that would be the place to get it. At the same time, you can add some words of support, share in Jack’s successes, and in some small way, provide inspiration to Jack his and family – full circle.

A few years ago, my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. While at times, it’s easy to fall into negative thinking, worry about the future, think the pitying thoughts of Why my Dad?, Jack’s story has offered me a way to put things into perspective, to be grateful for what I have, and for what my Dad still has.  The Jablonski family has helped smack me back into reality, into appreciating all the good I have in my life.

What inspires you?

~Carolyn

Is everyone really THAT excited to get to work?

My morning commute is tops, 10 minutes. I’d like to say they’re a relaxing 10 minutes that get my day started off on the right foot, but that hasn’t always been the case. I have managed to take better control of the situation though, and try to use my commute to my advantage. I listen to calming Zen music every morning which tends to declutter my mind; the sound of waterfalls and birds chirping do, for the most part, help drown out the maniacs on the road. When things were really out of control, I was cranking Jazz music like crazy. At one point, we used our commute to discuss books we were reading- our version of a mini book club.

Why are people in such a hurry to get to work or wherever it is they’re going? Do people just not have an off button anymore? I don’t know if this is just a trend in the city I live in, but I’ve noticed that the “in” thing to do is not stop. For example, if I’m about to turn into my workplace and begin to slow down, rather than the person behind me also slowing down, they’ll just cut someone off in the other lane, and switch lanes – no need to stop. I see this happen all the time. If you see a signal on a car, quick, cut someone else off so you don’t to have to waste so much of your precious time stopping for another person. Some of these people almost seem even mad that I’m turning. How dare I turn! You know who I’m talking about…the person who does that quick jerk-like move of their car into the other lane simply because you’ve forced them to slow down for a few seconds.  Are we really at a place in time where we get personally offended by someone who might slow us down for a mere few seconds?

Here’s proof that driving like an impatient maniac gets you nowhere faster. On the way home from my sister’s work, a man driving like he was on a mission, caught our attention. At the first red light, he was behind us. Then,  he abruptly did the switcharoo into the other lane, and took off like a bat out of hell. We continued to drive along until…we met the same car again at the next red light. Oh, it’s you. Hi! Green light – poof! He’s outta there. My sister and I were chatting, having a pleasant drive and conversation, but, we couldn’t help but notice the same guy speeding up ahead, changing lanes every three seconds, cutting people off left and right. Eventually, we lost sight of him until…the next red light. No way! It’s you?  Again? This happened at every light along the way, so much so, that my sister and I began laughing about it. We pictured him in his car, sweating up a storm, anxious and in a rush, mad at all of the drivers on the road, probably cursing up a storm while we were all relaxed and calm in ours, having a wonderful conversation and quite a few laughs….at his expense. Even when we lost sight of his car for a while, he would, eventually, turn up again. We met this car all the way up until we had to turn to get off that road.

I’m sure that man thought he was a real master of his domain, that his driving skills would allow him to get to his destination a whole lot faster than the rest of us. Did they? Nope. And I guarantee you, we had a much more pleasurable experience on the road in our car, than he did in his. So I ask, what’s the point? Why in such a hurry? Slow down. Enjoy the drive. Enjoy the scenery. Enjoy the company of the person who’s with you. Enjoy your own company. Use your commuting time as  your time. Listen to your favourite music or audio book. Maybe by doing so, we’ll inadvertently bring back a little common courtesy to our fellow drivers.

Happy travels!

~Carolyn

I Love Mondays?

Monday, Monday!

It’s 7:30 Monday morning, I’ve up been awake since 5:30 and up since ten to six.  When I got into bed last night, I decided that I would wake up extra early to do my full hour of exercise in the morning, hence the 5:30 wake up call.  Well…5:30 came, my alarm went off and I hit snooze, only to be awoken 5 minutes later (my phone which I use for an alarm only snoozes for 5 minutes).  I continued this little game a few more times before I finally hauled my behind out of bed.  Yes, it seems kind of pointless that game, but I did learn one thing from it – 5:30 a.m. doesn’t work, it is too early!

I wasn’t sure what the body of this post would be, but I had the idea: the weekend goes so fast and I really don’t like Mondays (who does?!).  Then, I had a better idea while I was getting my shoes on – try and make this the best Monday I’ve had in a long time and write about it!  Write what I did and if it worked for me.  I can’t promise that this day will be the best, but I am certainly going to try.  For obvious reasons, although I’m starting the writing now, in the morning, I won’t be able to post this until tonight.  So, here it goes!

As I mentioned, I woke up early to work out which I did, for 30 minutes.  I felt/feel great about it.  I’m not dwelling on the fact that I didn’t complete the full hour like I had planned but hey, I did something and I am happy and grateful that I not only did it, but that I am healthy enough to be able to do it.

I showered and got ready in record time – another in the plus column.  Luckily, my hair and makeup routine is pretty minimal so lingering in the bathroom is not something that I do.  I’ve meditated and I’m now eating a healthy breakfast, plus and plus.  So far, so good.  I’ll be logging off in a few minutes to get dressed and pack up for my 11 hours away from here and then, I will be off to work.  That, my friends, will be when the real test begins!  Ciao ciao until tonight.

Well, I’m back home.  To keep this post from being too long, I’ll give you a quick run-down of how the rest of my day went.

The bus ride to work was uneventful which is always good.  I enjoy taking the bus since it’s my quiet reading time.  I decided to read Dr. Dyer’s book The Power of Intention instead of the other book I brought with me, 50 Shades of Grey.  I’m about to start Chapter 13 of that book and so I know what to expect – this is definitely a book to read at home! It is hot, hot, hot!!

The morning was also good, lots of driver traffic in and out of the office (I work at a transportation company), and I had quite a few pleasant conversations with them – always nice.

The rest of the day went very good and very quickly.

I logged onto Word Press on my lunch and checked out the Freshly Pressed blogs and read A Midsummer Night’s Cream at A French Frye in Paris. I’m not much of a traveler, but after reading that, I am inspired to save up and head to La Belle Paris!  It’s a wonderful blog with beautiful photos and great writing – check it out!

So, as I said, I am back home and feeling relaxed and happy.  It was a very nice Monday, full of good conversation, lots of work and some very nice and inspiring reading.  Sure I had a couple of frustrating moments, but at work, who doesn’t? The difference today is that instead of letting things upset me like they tend to on Mondays, I just smiled and moved on with the rest of my day.

It just goes to show that everything I read is true about positive energy attracting positive energy and negative energy attracting negative energy.  I started this Monday with a positive attitude and look what happened – I had a great day.  It’s all about the power of positive thinking!

~Trisha~

Taking the Plunge

“Don’t die with your music still in you.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer~

That’s exactly what my sister and I did last night. We filled out the information to start our own business. We don’t even have a business plan! Well, technically, we do…it’s just all in our heads, not in some formal, intimidating, scary-looking “Business Plan” format. That’s just not us. We’re tired of having to fit into molds, doing things “their” way. We’re just flying by the seat of our pants, something the “old us” would never have done. Last night, sitting on the couch as we filled out the e-paperwork…was pretty freaking scary. We started getting snappy with each other, impatient, feeling anxious, nervous…getting mad at the form we were filling out for asking questions about our “anticipated profit”?! Afterwards, although still a bit scared, I think the overwhelming feeling we experienced was excitement. We’re finally taking charge of driving down our life’s path instead of relying on a chauffeur.

I think we’ve both just reached the point where we are tired of being the hamster in the wheel going around and around and around. Our hearts are just not in our jobs anymore…were they ever? I doubt it. In Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, Dr. Wayne Dyer writes of the importance of following your passion and discovering what truly inspires you, the music you were put on this earth to play. For so many of us, we “play music” on a daily basis, but it is not our music. It’s the music that gets us through our day-to-day lives; it allows us to put a roof over our heads, pay our car insurance, feed our family…but, is it the music we were meant to play, or want to play? Is it the music that makes us feel good, feel fulfilled? Is it the music that corresponds with what we believe our purpose in life is, our passion? For me, the answer is no. And that’s why I have made this leap of faith. That is why I’m taking the plunge. I don’t see the safety net, but I know it’s there.

~Carolyn

Let your music play!

The Long Distance Friendship

Good friends are like stars.  You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there. – Anon

Growing up, I had friends; not a lot, but enough that I was happy.  I was never what you would call the/a popular girl although I was, at one point in my life, part of the “popular group” in school.  It lasted for about two years, during my 8^th and 9^th grades, until I realized that I wasn’t cut out for that kind of life – the gossiping, the backstabbing, the paranoia I felt every time I left a group of girls worrying that the minute my back was turned, they were talking about me (not that I was doing anything for them to talk about!).  I don’t know exactly how it happened, but I slowly gravitated back to the girls who had accepted me as is before my foray into the popular society, and was once again a happy camper.  We weren’t popular, no, and we didn’t get all the looks from all the boys in school, no one started food fights with us just to get our attention; we hung out in our own little group, talking, laughing, doing high school girl things, building friendships that saw us through the rest of our high school years .

We all finished high school at different times and as happens (although when you’re young, you never think it will ever happen), we all drifted away.  Growing up in a small town like we did, the options for life advancement are minimal and most people tend to leave and pursue their academic dreams elsewhere.  I was not one of those people, at least not right away.  I chose to go to hairdressing school much to the horror of my parents – they wanted me to go to university, or at least college, but I was never much of a student so a miracle would have had to occur for me to be admitted into college.  And, quite frankly, as I said, I wasn’t much of a student, and I didn’t want to go on to college.  Anyway, I’m digressing from the point here.

So a couple of years after I finished high school –  after hairdressing school, struggling to get work, a move to another city eight hours from home, more schooling – I wound up moving back to my hometown, and wound up back in touch with an old friend from high school.  We quickly picked up where we had left off and over the ensuing years we have become dear friends.  I consider her one of my best friends, a lifelong friend.

Now here’s the thing: we no longer live in the same city as each other and talk quite infrequently and yet, whenever I have needed a shoulder or a laugh or just a friend, she has been one of the few people I know I can count on, and I hope the same is true for her.  Often it will be (insert shame-faced look here) months between calls – we text and email but those just aren’t the same – but an actual phone call?  Sadly, they aren’t often enough.  I know it’s been too long when my Mom asks if I’ve spoken to her lately, and I have to admit that I haven’t; then I have to rack my brain trying to remember when I spoke with her last.

Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.

Friendships, especially long distance friendships, require effort and a little work, especially when we’re older; we all know this.  When we were younger, we had a lot more time at our disposal, and we spent considerable amounts of time with our friends. In our teens, let’s face it, our friends became like our families (because I mean, you know, our own families are just, like, so embarrassing).  But then we start getting older and we take on more responsibilities, and oh-so-sadly our friendships start moving down our lists of priorities on a day-to-day basis.  I am in no way saying that my friends aren’t important to me.  I would drop everything and anything for a friend.  What I’m saying is that, even with every good intention, life just rushes by leaving little time; before you know it, months have gone by when you realize that you haven’t spoken to the person you think of as a sister.

One of the issues with a long-distance friendship is that I have never gotten on the phone and had a brief, 20 minute phone call.  I literally schedule in phone calls with them, and they with me, because we know that once we get on the phone, we can count on being there for an hour, minimum.  And that’s a short call.

When I get off the phone with a long-distance friend, I feel happy and warm and fuzzy, you know, all those good things.  And every time I get off the phone, I make the promise to myself to make a greater effort to call them more often and to try to see them more.   But you know what, these friends of mine aren’t complaining about the way things are, and neither am I.  We are doing what works and that’s good enough.  We make sure to stay in touch, to catch up, to laugh and to build our friendships.  Sure, the guilt creeps in every once in a while, but no matter what, we’re there for each other and we know that.  And that is all that really matters.

~Trisha~

We’re Not Worthy…Or Are We?

Oh my. I can’t believe how competitive it is out here in the blogosphere. Well, actually, I can, especially after participating in a webinar on this very topic last week…it seemed as if what lay ahead was nothing but doom and gloom…unless I managed to get some “Guest Blogs”…where? I have no idea. Of course, in the end, I would have had to enroll in an e-class for $600 to find out the “key” to my potential blogging success. Needless to say, here I am with $600 still in my pocket…trying to battle my way through this sea of blogs in hopes that one or two…or maybe even six people, will read what I have to say.

Well, guess what? Yesterday, we had 14 views, and my sister and I were practically doing cartwheels. Even better, a few people actually “liked” our posts, and FIVE have even decided to follow us. WE’RE NOT WORTHY!!! But, thank you. We even got our first comment…granted, it seems to be slightly (or full out?) in the way of spam. But hey, we’re firm believers in everything is happening the way it’s supposed to so…the spam comment stays. I think it’s only half spam anyway since an actual compliment was attached to it. Or was that just a ploy?! It stays. We’re not rocking the boat!

I wonder if most bloggers get this excited over their first likes, their first followers? We probably should have just played it cool. But, too late!

~Carolyn

My Love/Hate Relationship with Exercise

Okay, so it goes a little something like this: I see a workout program that I think looks fun, I order it, I get excited about its impending arrival, I buy a new workout outfit to celebrate, I receive said program in the mail, I start the program and within a matter of a few weeks…the novelty and excitement have worn off and I start slacking.  This is how I am, I fall in and out of love with exercise and it’s been this way for years.

Now, I’ve been working out for a long time.  A. Very. Long. Time.  I started exercising when I was a teenager; I would switch on the little T.V. in the rec room and bounce around to the local exercise program.  I remember the first exercise tape I got for Christmas one year – a Jane Fonda work out.  Forgive me, I was young and didn’t know any better.  From there, I progressed to more intense workouts including” the step”.  I loved it, and can proudly say that I only fell off of it a few times!  One Christmas, I asked for and received (yaaay!), an elliptical machine.  Back then, exercise was a big part of my life, I loved it; if I didn’t work out at least an hour a day, I just hadn’t done good enough.  Back then, I had a lot more time on my hands.

These days, trying to squeeze in an hour of exercise a day involves planning and juggling.  Today for instance, I woke up earlier than l think anyone in my building (5:45 a.m., sorry to my downstairs neighbor) and did 30 minutes of cardio from a new work out program I bought, and then I finished the workout, 30 minutes of strength training, when I got home from work.  The workout seems fun, and I sure was sweating – I think it’s doable.  It’s the diet plan that she “prescribes,” and insists we follow to a T in order for us to get the results she promises, that I’m worried about.  This diet is strict with a capital S.  When I was reading the diet I actually said out loud, “I’m gonna starve, I’m literally gonna starve on this.”  An example of one of the meals in the “menu”: 2 large celery stalks with natural peanut butter for lunch.  Not even the yummy peanut butter already living in my cupboard.  I love food – I love to cook it, I love to bake it and I love to eat it.  Hence my need for this program!  This is going to be a challenge.  But, I’m committed this time, I really am.  I hope.

My problem is that I just can’t seem to stick with a program or a schedule, and I’m not sure why.  I love the way I feel when I work out, I like (sort of, let’s be honest) the results I see when I work out; I have never regretted working out so why can’t I just stick with it?

I’m sure there are all sorts of psychological reasons for this, but I’m just looking for a simple reason here, not therapy.  Maybe it’s because there’s nothing calming or soothing about working out which is one of the things I love about yoga.  I always finish my yoga feeling stronger and like I’ve had a work out, but I also feel balanced and centered.  Maybe it’s boredom; doing the same 3 or 4 workouts over and over and over, it’s like Chinese water torture. Maybe it’s just because I have a problem with commitment, which is true, but that’s a whole other post!

Well, I have the next 90 days to either fall in love with this program and order the next stage, or kick it to the curb.  Day two starts tomorrow and I’m crossing my fingers because I’m getting a little tired of this on again, off again love affair.

~Trisha~